I haven't posted for a while, and for this I am truly sorry. Writing is catharsis for me, it allows me to lay out emotions on paper, quantifying thoughts and ideas more concisely into words and phrases. While Canada has, perhaps anticlimactically, not been the intellectual and philosophical gold-mine I expected, it has taught me so much. I will try my best to share.
Right now I am sitting in my room in the dark, surrounded by the mess that are my possessions. I am not a possessive person; while I am sentimental I tend to be quite selective about what I do and don't keep. Canada has changed that- I am accumulating a collection of possessions that together define a little part of myself. On my shelf I have a ukulele, a large purple mug, a soft toy elephant. Below there are a couple of books including "Other People's Love Letters". There is a 3 book Spanish reader course, a diary, some finger puppets, a hat with horns. Underneath are posters; A Van Gogh of cherry blossoms, to compliment the large poster of Venice hung across from it.
I went to Whistler a couple of weekends ago in an attempt to escape these attachments.Despite the novelty of Vancouver I felt trapped in the lost potentialities of love, trapped in the unwavering nature fate seemed to take. The claustrophobia of residence has led to a certain staleness of life and caused me to lose the vision with which I came to Canada. When in Whistler, surrounded by the immense physical beauty of the Canadian wilderness, I realized that to truly learn more about myself, I needed some emotional distance.
It was too easy for one facet of life - such as the loss of potential love, to become conflated while in Vancouver. Challenges constantly entice me; but while I must overcome challenge, I could not let challenges overcome me.
Romantically my pursuits have not been extra-ordinary. I have romanced a handful of girls - though I have my sights set on others. Part of this is potentially controversial. There is something liberating or enticing in the idea of forbidden romance.
Romance can be discussed another time. I am glad to be able to write now, and promise that I will write again soon.
<3 Del
Right now I am sitting in my room in the dark, surrounded by the mess that are my possessions. I am not a possessive person; while I am sentimental I tend to be quite selective about what I do and don't keep. Canada has changed that- I am accumulating a collection of possessions that together define a little part of myself. On my shelf I have a ukulele, a large purple mug, a soft toy elephant. Below there are a couple of books including "Other People's Love Letters". There is a 3 book Spanish reader course, a diary, some finger puppets, a hat with horns. Underneath are posters; A Van Gogh of cherry blossoms, to compliment the large poster of Venice hung across from it.
I went to Whistler a couple of weekends ago in an attempt to escape these attachments.Despite the novelty of Vancouver I felt trapped in the lost potentialities of love, trapped in the unwavering nature fate seemed to take. The claustrophobia of residence has led to a certain staleness of life and caused me to lose the vision with which I came to Canada. When in Whistler, surrounded by the immense physical beauty of the Canadian wilderness, I realized that to truly learn more about myself, I needed some emotional distance.
It was too easy for one facet of life - such as the loss of potential love, to become conflated while in Vancouver. Challenges constantly entice me; but while I must overcome challenge, I could not let challenges overcome me.
Romantically my pursuits have not been extra-ordinary. I have romanced a handful of girls - though I have my sights set on others. Part of this is potentially controversial. There is something liberating or enticing in the idea of forbidden romance.
Romance can be discussed another time. I am glad to be able to write now, and promise that I will write again soon.
<3 Del
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